JOURNAL: A moment.

I had to take a moment to pause. From reading and blog.
Injecting a more personal note to the new blog I guess. It felt a little foreign and objective like lately.

Change. It is definitely happening.
How many years ago, have I gone through a mode of almost non existence, depressed and entirely alone.
Best part though, was when I burst out of the tunnel towards light, I knew I always can and wanted to.
Life from then in to mr, was living it to the fullest, as best as circumstances can give me. Enable me to.

I have always been the same in my 18-21st years in life I think. Even in school, I believed in what I think and strive for specifically what I want.
Way back then, I seem to never buy the idea of conformity or what lecturers or most of my peers do are not ME.

Very little people had command my respect. I am not sure why. But it occur once again today, how I seem to have let life lately battle me down.
Going on a quiet, low keyed mode works for me. A sense of putting normality back from disorder. A sense if seeking within the self.
Of course recent happenings had Also made me realise my mistakes made in life people wise and who I care for and trust.

Change does happen for a reason. Especially if it is for the better. Getting out doing things for yourself more, being able to steer away from the unnecessary. Ability to be independent in your own. Self expression through any form if media/voice.

Spent a day in solidarity reading at the library, instead of the beach. For a change. Feels good :)

Perhaps, that is life. Going through it and yet at each hurdle. One pause, hesitates and then try to jump through it. Like an athelete at the Olympics. It is now or never.

It took me time again, while noises externally are hard to ignore completely. I am sane enough to day it wad another text of it’s own. The ability to listen to myself, that inner voice that seems to fade behind a backdrop of disturbances.

People will always be there to offer me help at each point. I appreciate it, but as a source for emotional expectations and offload/ judgement no.
To choose, acknowledge my right to make decisions and do so.

And now I will fly. With a more balanced peace of mind.
It has been a journey but a greater journey yet.


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